In My Head

Along with my 21 Day Daniel Fast I had a prayer plan that helped me daily through the steps and trials of the fast. The daily prayer brought me closer to God and has really became a part of my daily life. Yesterday I started another prayer plan. Its a 3 week prayer plan just titled "Prayer." Today's reading was Luke 11:1-12. It was almost a guide if you will on how to pray. In the verses it holds the Lord's prayer, but my favorite verse was verse 9: And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. I love this verse because it's raw, the bible says ASK-it will be given, SEEK-you will find, KNOCK-and it will be opened unto you. All we have to do is turn our faces towards the Lord and he is ready to meet our needs. Have you talked to God today?

Unfavorable pizazz is so unlike me. This week has been a very trying week for me. I have been sick since Saturday evening, early am Sunday. I ended up having strep throat, which I have never had before and I was miserable. I missed church, which for me is what my week revolves around. I lost 10 pounds over the course and had it not been for Clayton I probably would have ended up hospitalized because I only ate when he would make me and only got out of bed when he was off work to wash the sheets so he wouldn't get sick. Finally today... I'm getting out of bed, slowly but my dad is over coaxing me out by telling me he washed my car for me to take a drive and its 60 degrees out. This afternoon I got a call that had already made me upset and I talked Clayton out of a rage (and me too to be honest) it felt good to be out. I hadn't driven in a week. Windows down, sunroof open, music loud, sunglasses, it was as corny as I am making it sound... So with my weak 10 pound lighte...

-------------- Day 21 Of The 21 Day Daniel Fast- THE END Ok so I was totally upset that I couldn't make it to church this Sunday, I started running a 103.1 fever overnight and was in no way shape or form I was going to be able to leave the house.... but no excuses... I am watching it online after I finish this magical blog entry. It's the end, I did it, I finished. And I inspired my close friend Krista to do that fast as well and she completed it as well, I was so proud of her. I feel so fulfilled and changed for the better going through this fast. I loved every moment of it and look forward to continuing to repeat this every year for Christ and myself. I am going to go all in with a deeper relationship with Christ. Christ is diving in and I am going to allow him into our home and our life , we will be working more with the children at lifechurch.tv. I am so excited about getting baptised on February the 20th with Clayton and Tony, we are really changing our lives, they are ...

Zechariah 7:1-14 Reading about Obedience Better Than Fasting One more day of fasting, I can't believe that 20 days have passed so quickly. In today's reading we are to ask in what ways reflecting with God in our fast has softened our heart and influenced us and influenced us in treating other people differently.Becoming slower to anger is something that I have needed to hear for years from Christ. I have been a single more most all of my life and hate when my children walk away in sadness when they could have been redirect without tears. He Lord is working on me and I am standing here arm wide open ready to receive. Today was a pretty busy day we got up and headed to pick up Brandon, Clayton's brother, we headed to Old Paris Flee Market just to walk around and see there was anything out there. Not much but it was a good time. We had to me at Johnnie Carino's for dinner at 330 for Sierria'a birthday. Sierra is Brandona's daighter, she has a a baby just li...

Day 19 As the fast is starting to come to an end I am wondering how I am going to keep up the daily readings in my life. I love the impact it has had on my feelings about my life and what God has in store for me. I use to question him and now I don,t at all. I know there is a reason for what I am going through. today reading was Psalm 84 1-12, my favorites were 10 & 12 10- For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God Than dwell in the tents of wickedness. ---------make me a doormat I don't care but I will be in heaven with my Lord and not in the depths of darkness 12- O Lord of hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in You! ----------all that the Lord asks is that we believe and sing his praises!!!!!!!!! ******HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLAYTON****** There are days that this man is my hero. Today was Clayton's birthday. Clayton has been a great addition to my life. When we where first brought together we had alot of fun...

Day 18 For today I chose to take a fast2feast challenge from the lifechurch.tv menu it look like this: He said What I promised you, I will do it............. He will answer my prayers.. I know it..... Today's youversion.com reading's were Joel 2:12-32, the very first verse spoke straight to my heart. Joel 2:12 “Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Turn to Him with ALL your heart, ALL your fasting ALL your weeping and ALL your morning....reading further, he is slow to anger and of great kindness. I am learning to look to him in all that I do, for every move that I make I am grateful and I owe my everything to. I have also learned that I have to live more Christ-like, more slow to anger and greater in kindness. I am not perfect and will always be seeking him for perfection. For perfection is what we seek because we were born sinners. In verse 32 He says "And it shall come to pass That whoever calls...

Day 17 In my readings today, Daniel 3:1-30, God showed facts and boldness again that He will be with us through the fire. There are countless stories in the bible of this, yet there are still days that I fear my prayers are not being heard. I fear no more. I know he hears me. There is testament to it. Although I am going through hard times God is walking me through the fire just as he did the 3 me that stood up to the king in scripture. I have more faith than I have ever had. I am so glad that I chose this experience. This fast has been many answered prayers for me, I understand now why I am here. Why I am a mother. I was born a sinner. I will be spend eternity with my Savior. I will teach my children to love Christ just as I do and they do will spend eternity with the the Lord. Thank you Lifechuch for introducing me to the 21 Day Daniel Fast. it has brought me closer to Christ through it's daily teachings and prayers and of course the fasting is a constant reminder.

Day 16 Sweet 16 16 of 21 71.4 % COMPLETE I woke up this morning excited to pray, of course as always though I headed to my kitchen to get meds so I could make sure I would make it through the day. I got back to my bed opened my laptop and went straight to my readings: An Exuberant Declaration of Faith 1 A Psalm of David. The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked came against me To eat up my Can we meet up sometime this week to try to get some kind of money situation worked out? Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation. 10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the Lord will take care of me. 11 Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies. 12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries; For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence. 13 I would have lost he...

Day 15 and a Monday back to work. I wondered how I would do but I took 2 bananas and my wheat toast crackers. We where busy at Dr Craven's office. I woke up in pain but went straight to my pills and then to the shower to avoid wanting to stay in bed and wanting to stay home. It's hard to want to do anything when it hurt to stand up. It would be so different if it was my arm or leg, but it is my neck. My meds did good and held me over til about 2pm which is about typical so I took some more meds to get me home so I could take my stronger meds when I got home ( I can't take those and drive) My www.youversion.com reading today was Psalm 51:1-19, verse 2 touched me " Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin." One Sunday, February the 20th 2011 Clayton, Tony and I will be getting baptized on February the 20th. I was baptized as a child but feel that my relationship with Christ is totally renewed. I pray tonight for my friend Tiffany Irwin,...

Service today was amazing as always......... Whys is it that by Friday I an craving to go back on Sunday. I think, that since now I really dont go out anymore I will start volunteering on Saturday evening services, maybe with the life kides groups or something. I know I would love it. The new series was "I QUIT" Brandon, Clayton's brother, who just got release from a 5 year jail sentence on Tuesday came with us and loved it which I was so excited about. The message was about GOD Intentions.... about not making excuses. In the talk notes:As soon as I decided to be different, Satan gives me EXCUSES to stay the same. Then the question was asked.....>What does God want to be different about your life? I answered.... pray more, be more of a spiritual leader in my home and pray more with my children. Then the question was asked.....>Why does God want this part of your life to be different? He want me to pray more to glorify his name, he wants me to be more of a spir...

Day 13 Today has been the easiest day by far of the fast. I am getting really use to the food and am considering sticking to the vegan like diet after the fast, I feel better. With the amount of medication I take daily my digestion isn't the best it should be. The amount of vegetables and fruit the fast has me eating is helping me in that regard tremendously. I enjoy looking for different things to eat and cook. Today we went grocery shopping and I bought tofu. I am excited to try a recipe or two out with that and see just how interesting that will end up. I loved the tofu dish I got from Pei Wei so maybe I can pull it off. Today's message on my youversion.com app was about how He has brought me from darkness into light. I fell hopeful now about my health. Instead of praying for relief I am praying for thanks. I know He will provide for me. I know He will answer my prayers.

Day 12 of 21 day Daniel fast and my first day back to work in a while. I thought it was going to be harder than it was just because of the many temptations but I was at the Community location today so there wasn't any easy food access other than the drug reps brought Chick-Fil-A. But I got to tell them prior to them coming that I wanted a fruit cup. For dinner I had portobello mushrooms and a sweet potato with cinnamon and a touch of butter. I tried hummus today and was not impressed at all. I didn't like the taste of it but it might of been the garden flavor we got. My youversion.com reading today talked about the craving we have while fasting and realizing the control they have over our lives. I recognized a can of soda opening today and my mouth began to water immediately. Since I have been home most of my fast I haven't' had to deal with my cravings first hand. And WOW, that one slapped me in the face today. It felt great to be able to work today though, I wa...

Today on www.youversion.com I am guided to match my faith with my actions. Today I am to ask God where He wants to lead me during this second half of my fast. My reading from youversion today is from James 1, it reads. James 1 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings. Trials and Temptations 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-mind...

Today I was in bed until 1 o'clock in pain, my mom and dad brought me a salad trying to help and still honoring my fast, I love them. As I started to move around when I got some pain meds in me I had to drive to Edmond to pick up another prescription for more medicaitons. It gets old and I am really sick of it. But I thank the Lord everyday for the life I do have and for the life that he is giving me. I ordered Clayton and I Pei Wei on my way home. Tofu is my new love, it's great. I dont hve much to say today other than I am tired and I have my bags backed to go to work tomorrow, I need to get back into a normality, I need my friends, I need conversation and I need a paycheck. My kids are great, but I dont want them to watch me suffer. I feel sometimes all they see me do is suffer. HOpefully Sheila will understand if my days are short at first then work to longer days... well good ngiht now now... God is Good all the time.............

So Day 9 I started with a much needed video from the lifechurch.tv group, I attached it below. God has a unbelievable way of telling me that I can do it. I stayed in bed most of the day until my new bed showed up. I am hopeful that this will help my sleeping patterns and allow me to sleep better and wake up not so stiff. I went with Clayton to his parents house to welcome home him brother from jail, he has been in for 5 years now and the family was relived to see him, people were coming in and out to see him, they served ribs, which I could't eat so I helped serve and just ate portabello mushrooms when I got home. I invited Brandon to church on Sunday and he was excited to go with Clayton and I. OK, a good night prayer, thank you Lord for your blesssings...... Dear God, As I lie here seeking another good night of restful sleep, give me the peace of mind and the ability to relax. Fulfill my needs for mental and physical restoration so I may wake up ready for another beautiful da...

Day 8 My pain was pretty bad today but my choice of meal was easier than I expected. I think that with my pain I dealing with more depression which can wither cause me to eat more of less, in the past months it has been more, since my fast less. I either opt not to eat because I have to think a little harder about what I am eating or am hurting to bad to cook or make something. I really want to go to work this week. I need to be around my co workers. I am getting a new bed which I believe will help, hopefully, tomorrow. Can't wait. Well it's a short one tonight, headed to bed good night readers.........God Bless you!

Wow it has been a great 7 days since I started the 21 day Daniel Fast. I feel great, I celebrated today with a amazing church service today. Lifechurch celebrated 15 years this weekend. Worship brought me to tears, nothing in particular just the great worship songs and lifting praise to our Lord. We picked up the the kids today from their father's houses and took them to out to eat and TGIPFriday's I was not impressed and the inability for the staff to find anything for me to eat off the menu. We had just been to Toby Keith's Bar and Grill and it was easier there that at TGIFridays. I think I may have helped a guy get back to coming to Lifechurch yesterday with out realizing it. We went to look for new bed furniture and the sales associate that was helping was telling me how he was from our of town. I asked where and he said Edmond. I asked if he wen to church out there and was reaching into my purse to grab a card to invite him to come and he said "Yea, I use to...

As the days go on the fasting is getting easier and the mission is becoming more apparent to me what I am doing and the impact it is already making on my life. I woke up in pain put it was relieved by pained medicines. Today was the day I was going to see a friend I haven't seen since I was at least 14. Daniel Snyder was Wynn's best friend, the did taekwondo together when i met them and we all became really good friends Fist we went to the cometary fist to visit when and Linda, it was a lot easier that I thought. I expected a lot more tears but there was laughter and remembrance of their lives. They would have been happy we won't weeping. After that Daniel and Amber had to take their kids to their parents because we had dinner plans at Toby Keith's Bar& Grill, which was amazing. of course i stuck to my feasting as best as I could. They will forever now be best friend Here is picture of Dan and i.................... so missed having him in mt life

Day 5 I actually can't believe I have done as well as I have. I don't honestly think I have stuck to a diet as long as I have this fast. The temptations are all over. We never cleansed the house prior to me starting the fast, the kids can't fast so its all here at my fingertips. Sure there is noone around, the only person that is accountable for my actions is me. I have been driving in the car thinking "I can just get a quick burrito, noone will know," but NOPE, no way DEVIL, you will not have me..........I have to answer to God. If I feel weak I ask HIM for strength. I pray at night before I sleep. I pray when I wake up. I feel relieved and less stressed. My pain is still ever present, it will end one day................... I know it will..... There have been a few events that have upset me today concerning my friends and family who seem concerned but not genuine enough. I am trying to fight back from thinking unkind thoughts because I know they truly do ...

Day 4 - Started early, about 4am for me, my pain had been my alarm clock lately and my worship que. I took my medication then read my you version scripture for the day. This morning I sat down with a plate of pistachios and a orange and had breakfast with cranberry juice. I had a semi-productive day, for that is, I can usually only work about 2 hours on a project then I am down for 4. I did manage to get all the remaining Christmas decorations packed and ready for my dad to come and get to take to storage for me. Carlee was home with me so I was a personal entertainer also. I listened to alot of worship songs to try to stay positive throughout the day so I wouldn't feel as sad as I did yesterday, it worked. TODAY'S DEDICATION: Today I am dedicating my day of fasting to my friend Ryan Wakeham. His family is struggling today with the loss of his father's mother, she passed away 2 days ago, and his uncle with whom he was very close to growing up passed away today. He is ...

Today I dedicating my prayer to Angela Curliss father's father who is going home on hospice today, she has said that he has so feeding tube. Fill him with your love and grace. Angela's mother's mother is now in the hospital and is suffering from fluid on her lungs, please surround her with you grace and strength. Give the caregivers the strength, knowledge and love to care for them so they heal fast. Lord, look upon them with eyes of mercy, may your healing hand rest upon them, may your life giving powers flow into every cell of their body and into the depths of my soul, cleansing, purifying, restoring them to wholeness and strength for service in your Kingdom. Amen. Day 3 was rough I woke up weak and sad. I had to take Tony to the doctor and learned that he had to have testing for possible Auditory Processing Disorder, they also changed his medication again. We then while we were downtown went to see Trey at his new law firm, the kids enjoyed it. I took Tony to schoo...

Today was a very trying day for me. I woke up at 3 am this am in pain that I wish I could explain. It makes my knees weak and I want to scream but I have two children sleeping. I decided to eat a pear and take some pain medicine and try to pray although I wan't able talk I was speaking to him through my begging really for some relief. I wonnder sometimes if there is a breaking point for me and how close to it I am. The fasting is not breaking me as much as the pain is right now. I will say it is hard to fix my kids something for dinner and make myself something else. This evening for dinner I wasn't able to stand up, talk, let alone make decisions for the kids or any housework, I was on the couch crying for 2 hours til Clayton came over and brought me my pain medication because I couldn't even get to it. I them slept for another hours or 2 til it kicked in. He forced me to eat food he had bought and insists that my health is not in a great condition to be doing a fas...

I actually started last night buy using my eyeliner and writing myself a note to pray in the morning. It helped so much because just as I said I woke up late, I didn't sleep well anyways, between my pain and and daughter waking up for milk at 5 am it was a ling night. I woke up at 7 am and was running when i hit the floor. Hit the shower and as I was showering remembered my note about the praying. I lifted my hand to the sky and prayed for the Lord to use my eyes, ears, mouth, and feed to follow his lead. I asked for strength in the 21 day fast because he knows if anyone does I don't follow plans well. After, my pre-madonna princess breakdowns about the colors of her hair bows and where she wanted to go verses where she was going to go today Carlee and I made it out the door. Off to daycare she went without a tear once we were in the car. I headed out of town and drove through a Sonic, you may think this would be hard, but nope I remembered the had bananas, so I got 2 and ...

So today I was once again touched at churched and inspired to make moves spiritually. watch it FIRSTS was the subject. Last year I was inconsistent spiritually but this year I WILL be consumed. I have already started. But there are somethings I need to work on the first of the day and the first of the year. 1) At the first of the day: Seeking God first thing in the day. Believe me. When I wake up there are one of two things on my mind. Either pain or "OMG we are running late how fast can we get ready." From now on I will lift my heart to God and ask him to lead me. Where ever that prayer takes me at that moment that prayer will be the first thing I do. 2) At the first of the week: I do attend worship weekly and have been for the last month and a half to 2 months. I feel the change it is making in me and my life and I love it. I started serving at the following worship I attend as a greeter and love it too. Because I have learned we are suppose to worship, serve, tithe,...