Dear Son .....Love, Mom

Dear Son, It's the night before you graduate and I'm starting to get emotional. I've been so busy the last couple of weeks living in the moment I haven't allowed my self to appreciate your journey. You've come such a long way and I am so proud of your accomplishment. You were born to very young parent who themselves were not in the most imaginable situation to raise a child. I found out I was pregnant with you the summer before my senior year. Pregnancy, teenage emotions and logic, not great combinations. My parents were believers of tough love and I was ordered to either give you up or grow up fast. I considered giving you up for adoption but realized I had been selfish enough. So the work began. I moved out and in with your father, his foster parents bought is an apartment next to theirs and we lived as a couple our senior year. We were responsible for getting ourselves to school everyday and working for our food and money. My pregnancy was a very healthy one. My friends, who became my family, made sure I was taken care of when times got tough. You were born on the evening of March 4th 1998. In the room I was blessed to have important people. Your father, your Aunt & Grandma & Cassidy and Marsha. I never had any complications and you were born healthy and in the happiest of atmospheres. Shortly after you were born I graduated highschool. It was the 2nd happiest day of my life so far. I had beat all odds as a teenage parent. Most teen parents during that time did not get to experience that. I fought so hard during my senior year to set an example for you and you weren't even old enough to know it. Your infant and toddler years were exciting. I loved watching you grow and learn. Everyone loved you and loved being around you, you were such a bubbly kid. We moved around a lot, but you adapted well. I worked a lot and there were a lot of people who helped with keeping you safe and happy. May & Cassidy both young themselves helped me care for you and sometimes provide for you. As years went on I worked a lot and we moved more. I tried not to miss out on life events, holidays and milestones but I was a single mom trying to make ends meet. You were my responsibility and I wanted the world for you. I graduated from a business school when you were 4, without family and friends I wouldn't have completed it. You were about to start school yourself. It was exciting. You had become a strong willed curious kid. Soon after school started you played t-ball and Tia coached. She helped out a lot getting you to and from practice and games while I worked hard to pay bills. You loved baseball and I watched proudly. For years you were the man of the house. We grew up together. We had hard times and a lot of lonely time but we always had each other. We lived on love but love was what mattered. I remember when we moved and didn't have a couch we made a picnic area in the floor of our new place. We always made it fun and made it work. You were always happy and I appreciated that because I always felt I wanted to give you more. I realized quickly you needed more of my time and less of me working. Your attention at studies at school suffered because I didn't pay attention to your needs. We adjusted and re adjusted and figured it out. Soon after that Cassidy and I opened the daycare which gave me the opportunity to be more involved with your school and be with you more. I signed you up for the Big Brother Big Sister program because I felt like you needed some mentoring. Your Dad at the time was not actively around. We were introduced to Dale and Melinda through the program. This opportunity greatly enhanced your life. You gained confidence and got to experience things I wasn't able to provide. They were an awesome addition to your life. I met Eric and soon your sister was on her way into the world. That year was eventful. I got married and we had a whole new family unit, you had 2 new uncles, more grandparents and a sister! I never thought I would be able to share the huge amount of love I had for you with anyone but that love was not for the sharing. She got a different kind of love than you. You were my 1st born and that is a love no one could change. Watching you be such a great brother just made my love grow for you. In the next 5 years were some more trying times. Eric and I got divorced, we moved to Newcastle, I got in the car accident then you were hospitalized with pneumonia. Oh my heart breaks thinking about those 8 days in the hospital with you. You were so strong. I cried watching you cough uncontrollably and you told me to stop and go away because you didn't want me to cry. The pain in your eyes was horrible to watch, but you just muscled though it. My little man again showed me how strong he was! From then until now, middle school and highschool were busy, you tried hard and had rough patches and you always pulled though. I'm so proud of your perseverance and your unique drive to beat all odds. Even amongst peer pressure and typical teenage shenanigans you had a goal in mind. My hope for you in life is happiness. For now, be selfish, their are half a lifetime of years were your family, kids and wife, will be your responsibility. But for now be selfish, see the world, learn new things, meet new people, go to school and further your education, whichever avenue you take do it with happiness in your heart! I love you so much and I am beyond the moon happy for your accomplishments. Love, Mom