I always feel relieved to start typing on this page. The feeling I get when I am here makes me feel free. It's been a while since I have really unloaded my head through my fingers. So here it goes:
Tony is back in school this is his first full week after the long month out due to him being in the hospital for pneumonia. I have never been so scared in my life. It was such a whirlwind feeling that I never really processed it all until I got home. I cried alot in the hospital while Tony slept because I couldn't let him see my pain or fear. 8 days in the hospital was too long. After the loong 8 days we were sent home on 3 weeks of home health IV antibiotics one was ever 8 hours and the other was every 12 hours.
Needless to say we had to be together ALOT afterward. I couldn't go to work and going to school was severely damaged during that 8 days in the hospital. I ended up having to drop 3 of the 4 classes due to my attendance and the work and test that I wasn't going to be able to catch up on. I feel like a failure for having to drop the classes but I am just taking it as a semester off. Who knew that this was going to happen? Not me for sure. Tony has always been a healthy kid. I never expected this at all.
Going back to work was easy I was welcomed back with open arms. My supervisor had sent out a email to my coworkers and through facebook most of my friends had followed enough to know mist of what was going on. I was excited to see adult faces and have adult conversations again. This week is my 2nd week back.
At home things seem back to normal. Tony is grounded this week for being disrespectful to my mom. He jump right back into pre teen activity.... Oh Joy! Mom, Dad and I are still getting along great.... amazing because that was a concern of mine moving back home I thought we would have more disagreements but we don't have any really.
Carlee is 2 and 1/2 this month and I am just amazed at how time has flown. With time I have learned that some things never change like you expect them to. I really expected Eric to grow up and be a more active father to Carlee but he has failed to impress me. Its amazing how y0U think some people will be and they end up being the opposite. In saying that he only sees her every other weekend, 4 days a month, and is hardly a father.
Tony's dad is about the same but he doesn't have set days he just texts me whenever he happens to want to see him, which seems to be about the same as Eric's standard, 4 days a month. Surprised?!?!?!? Not me... HELL, Antonio didn't even come to the hospital.
Its a wonder I even see myself with someone one day.... U would think I would laugh and say hell no. But I want to die with someone. I was a fairy tale ending... geez that's corny....
Ok I have to go to bed but I do hav alot more to say....maybe tomorrow night!
TATA
