why does this seem like my fault? why am i being punished? I am always pushed to my knees to learn some lesson that I have already learned. I have been here, I have done this before I have been alone, and raised a child.
I don't want him back. I want that okay feeling back though. I had finally learned to stand proud and alone and let someone in to stand by me. I wanted that though, i guess. i just never thought it would end, and end so heart wrenching.
its hard to express in words the way i feel. I usually just don't. I don't sleep, this isn't healthy......... I need a vacation, a honest vacation.. I wish this idiot and his insurance company would settle for a decent amount. Why am I taking 12 hours next semester? I am doing the same ting I did with Tony when he was a baby, being away....... I worked so much when he was a baby and didn't get to watch him grow up, I watched what once was this young strong determined woman grow fast into a old withered, bitter broken down inside person in the mirror. This isn't what I pictured.
I love ya girlie :)
ReplyDeleteYou gonna be home tonight?
I have some surprises for you!
You are too hard on yourself. One day at a time, Sis. Get organized and refreshed and wake up every morning with a purpose.... not a list of things to do. You are doing what you know you need to do but, don't let that tear you apart along the way. It will be easy to smile in the end just keep your chin up and smile like you just ate chocolate!!!! love you..... Sissy Bebop
ReplyDelete