Don't be offended

Welcome & Don't Be Offended

So I needed a place to vent, a place to unwind, a place to be free, and speak my mind, free of criticism and judgement, opinion or emotion, someplace where I couldn't get in trouble for what I have to say. So I will try this to deal with life. Please do not be offended by the content, if you know me, during my blogging, it is what is in my head.

I have dealt with alot of life changing events in the last couple of years and have just about lost everything that I use to call near and dear. The things that I once loved now are just not what I want or need in my life anymore. The hard part about it is I feel like no one gets it. I use to hold my friends so tight, as if they were family, and now they have all vanished during a time when I need them. I don't understand and quite honestly don't want to put myself in a place where I have to hear something that I don't want them to say because I fear what my reaction would be towards them or what they will have to say. But I don't need that, I don't need opinions from them, I need support, and that is not what they can offer. So I am moving on.

I am moving on to a new job where I don't have to face the look of pity or the smerks behind my back. I thought that changing my job would save a very value relationship with a friend. I thought that removing myself from being around her would at least help me regain the respect that me and my family deserved but I don't think it did. My new job is in a field that I truly enjoy, and thrive in. I love the people, they love me, they don't judge me cause the don't know anything about what has happened in my life.

Since I have lost most all my friends I spend ALOT of time alone, alot of time thinking, alot of time regretting and alot of time lonely. I don't think I deserve this at all but i know that it will payoff.


Michelle