A 12 year old & a Webcam

Haunting Me

Why is it when I am alone and I start thinking about relationships and gettingito one I fee like I want to tun and run away. My physical inside start to hurt, the crying begins and the interrogation of my past begins. Does he know that did this to me? Does he know the damage he has iflicted on me? Does he know that they don't make medicine to cure this? There is no doctor to help me. Nights are long. I dont want a man who is goin to cheat on me put I never thought I was going to have to be alone again either. I was willing to stay aned fight and he gave up. So, why do I feel like the failure? Because I loved one man at one time and gave everything I had to him, including my future. He made the choice to give up what we had in the end. I try to move forward but with each step forward I take three back. People expect me to be healed and over it and I'm not.