Cold

I have a cold heart.
A least that is what I feel like. How can someone feel the way I want them to about me and I want to run away like I am on fire. I said I know what I want. Even in the palm of my hand, I am sweaty and trembling. I drop the exact thing that I live for and watch it break into a million pieces, emotionless, unable to help put it back together.

I have a cold heart.
Someone saw through the frigid frost bitten damage and saw me for me and I ignored it, and still do. I don't know what to do with this attention. I don't think I deserve this attention. A woman much greater, less damaged more willing, more caring, and warm deserves this.

WARNING
I have a cold heart.
Do not disturb. I will hurt you. I am not what you need. I don't know what to do with you.
WARNING

My scholarship essay

How do you define success at OSU?

Having a DREAM is just a lost thought until someone listens to you. At OSU your dream is paved by counselor as an ACHIEVABLE path to success. I would define success at OSU by school spirit. This spirit is not in wearing the school colors of orange and black and cheering for our team at a sporting event. It is the marked PRIDE you get as you pull in the drive, the WARMTH and ENCOURAGEMENT in your instructors' greeting upon entering their classrooms, and leaving with a calming CONFIDENCE that encourages you to do your best until the next class period you are together. The success that OSU creates is much more than just an educational gain with a degree. It is a PERSONAL success that makes you walk taller and stronger amongst your peers. It is a GROWTH that cannot be reversed and is ever gaining. It is a sense of ACCOMPLISHMENT, with everyday and every return. Success is knowing that the EDUCATION that you will carry with you will be met with high regard amongst the colleges in your field. And it is a sense of ACCOUNTABILITY, creating a LOYALTY to yourself that has been built from the successes you have already accomplished by showing up. When asked where I attend school I proudly say OSU. Success is the pride of where I came from and where I am going. Success is remembering the path it takes for me to reach my goal. Success is the drive that I am teaching my children as an adult student still striving to attain my dreams. And, success is knowing that one day I will watch my children stand as successful as I have.

S-eeing your dream
U-nderstanding your path
C-hallenging yourself
C-onfidence building
E-ducational strength
S-hining Future
S-trength in knowledge

http://www.osuccess.com/feed.aspx


Mine is etry number 83
Wish me Luck!!

Stuck in my head

6. Malaise Days
(russell/ klein) (lyrics by a. russell)

It's been one of those days, nothing seems right
I slept through the sun, now I'm staying up all night
I'm leaky-eyed, and dissatisfied with myself
And my thoughts and my life
ch: I wanna jump right out of my skin,
I wanna jump right out, out of my skin
I don't know where I'm goin', don't like where I've been
I wanna jump right out , out of my skin
Is this melancholly mood an epiphany?
Or just renegade chemicals, unbalancing me
I'm so uninspired, makes me tired and i'd sleep
But my dreams don't bring me relief
ch
I went down to a club, the band was a joke
Recycled nashville, imitation cowpokes
If they're musicians, I'm a magician
But they've got an album, the audience loved them
ch
I try to tell myself , I'll grow out of this
It's just a passing youthfull fit
But I've got this intuition, a sneaking suspicion
Periodic malaise it's a human condition, it's a human condition
ch

Just one more me

I need just one more me

One more me to be what I want to be. I have so many wants and no time for them all. How do I do it? How do I get to all this happiness? I know what I want and thier aren't enough hours in the day. Will I get it? Patience, is that the key?