In My Head

Why do I do this to me? Why do I let you use me? My heart is not strong enough to say no but this yes keeps breaking me down..... Can I find me? Me, the me I use to be? Unbroken, found, stable, sturdy. I do not like you world, and i dont know what it is about your words, that keep getting more. You have already taken it all.. Empty again............. Why do I do this to me? Why do I let you use me?

o⋅ver⋅whelm  –verb (used with object) 1.to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse. 2.to overpower or overcome, esp. with superior forces; destroy; crush: Roman troops were overwhelmed by barbarians. 3.to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge: Lava from erupting Vesuvius overwhelmed the city of Pompeii. 4.to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything: a child overwhelmed with presents; to overwhelm someone with questions. 5.to overthrow. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am overwhelmed completelty in mind and feeling.................. I have so many things to do and I am running out of time in the day to do them. I feel overpowered and overcome but haven't yet broken Almost buried beneath. Excess amount of stress. Attempting to mot be overthrown but on the edge.

Monday Tuesday and Wednesday I was in McAlester......... that is one busy clinic and the lady that I was working with, bless her heart she is the only thing holding that clinic together. I drove back to OKC on Wednesday after work and had to house/dog sit that night for a friend. Need less to say I haven't slept in my bed for sometime. Thursday I had to work at SW til noon the I got the head back to home base. I was happy to see my friends, and got a warm welcome back.... I worked in the heart failure clinic doing scheduling which was relaxing and slower paced (much needed). Today was a great day I got a great cake from Cindy, Nicole and Jennifer. I will post the picture. It has all our little inside jokes all over it, they did a great job. Chillin at home for a little bit doing some laundry before I have to go back to the other house. Tomorrow I have Red Cross Disaster Boot Camp, excited, it will be a great addition to my resume along with my nursing degree down the road. I have t...

Hot Summer Days & Birthday! July 1st- Work, Met with attorney to sign divorce petition, It will be in 90 days following the petition. Yippee! Closing that door will be great. I am ready to move on!! School July 2nd- Work, My 29th birthday! Great day at work, had dinner with my sister and the best girlfriends EVER! We went to BWW and Sherlocks then I left with Ashlea and went to Cassidy's house, I think our relationship is going through a season of growth, it's rough for both of us, it was great to see here and the kids though, I love them so much . July 3rd- Up and to Flint, OK July 4th- Lake, Rain, Campfire!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT July 5th- Headed home, and McAlester tomorrow BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Thank you to all my friends (Amanda, Raime, Ashlea, Brandy, Krystal, Andrea 2, Cindy, Jennifer, Cassidy and Lexie) for all your support, love, birthday wishes, shots, and presents!!!!! And my family. I love you mom and dad. My kids make my day everyday! Kisses to you two angels. Love you all...